The Webster definition of perception is
Definition of perception
b : physical sensation interpreted in the light of experience
It is funny how our perceptions of a situation can be so different from another's .
I had an aspiring student many years ago. He started with me as a toddler and based on my perception of the situation I dismissed his family when he was 10-years old . He started on violin first, then piano as well . I loved this young man as a musician, a student and a person. I thought I had a good relationship with his family .
In 2007 I had major surgery . Only his and one other family paid me for the month I was laid up . Not expected, but totally appreciated . Then things changed (again my perception)
I would sometimes sit down when teaching. Either from exhaustion OR so a student who was shorter than me could see my fingering technique. As this young man WAS shorter than me I had to do this often . His parents informed me i was NOT to sit during his string lessons. That they had read that good teachers do not do this. OUCH
Then they removed him from piano studies with me, sending him to a big music school in a nearby city as it was, in his Mothers own words the other school was more prestigious . OUCH AGAIN
He started to get snarky . I sensed he wanted to stop violin. I talked with him about it and he denied it. But he wasn't practicing, was holding his bow incorrectly all of a sudden. Whenever I mentioned it to his parents I was told I should have fixed it years ago . But, he never had this issue years ago... .
He also started snapping his bow on the floor . I would repeatedly tell him not to do it . So much so that his Father said during a lesson he didn't want to hear me tell him that anymore . He said this to ME and not his child.
On Good Friday 2007 I gave him his last lesson . His Father left me a check and then said to me I thought I made it clear we don't want you sitting in his lessons . I was tuning . I ignored him. He said he would be back in an hour. Then as his son and I got to work he started to snap his bow on The floor to the beat of his accented words "YOU CAN'T TELL ME NOT TO DO THIS". I knew that moment i would no longer be teaching him.
I voided the check and wrote a letter that stated I didn't think that Little Man (his nickname) was receptive to my style of teaching anymore and I wished him well .
Why this long story? I just ran into this young man working his summer job. Still a gentleman. So polite. I asked if he remembered me . Told him who i was . He was visibly shaken, uncomfortable and even took a step back. We made small talk . I asked of his musical endeavors and college career . He asked if I still had the studio. Asked if I was still at same place i said we had moved to a different location . And he replied and did you cull out some students. And he looked angry . I said I had and always will love him as a person but I felt we weren't connecting anymore. That I was sorry if saying hello had made him uncomfortable and I said good luck and went back into the waiting area. .
I wonder if he and his parents remember these things I mentioned as I do . I feel badly that perhaps they told him things that were not true. Little Man, I wish you well.
Always think about how others perception of a situation can affect a relationship or performance.
Comments
Post a Comment